Extroverts blamed for COVID-19
The Internet is inundated with a viral video of a congregation of extroverts at an underground party during the time of lock-down. Media is blaming extroverts for COVID-19 potentially going out of control. While others are blaming the entire extrovert community for not condemning the reckless action of the culprits.
“Why aren’t extroverted film actors not speaking against the extrovert community? Is extroversion really a lifestyle of peace?” shouted a news anchor, in a sentiment echoed by several introverts.
A YouTube commenter and part-time Godman has held extroverts and travelling culture responsible for the very existence of the deadly virus: “COVID-19 is God’s revenge on us for extroversion and hyper globalisation. Life used to be simple ten years ago but this culture of extreme travelling has disrupted the nature. Now everybody wants to travel everywhere. The bloody globe-trotters should be quarantined for life. God’s message is obvious: keep social distance, stay indoors and give up travelling. It’s poetic justice.
“Travelling itself is the most clichéd hobby. Travelling zealots not spread viruses through unnecessary travelling but show-off their experiences on social media, often amplifying them, which puts pressure on their peers to do the same. They make common people feel bad about their lives.”
A Godman of Yuppies named Anurag Kashyap has blamed love for the pandemic: “Love is a useless and outdated concept. The viral outbreak is Mother Nature’s revenge for the romantic cinema of Imtiaz Ali and Aditya Chopra. Modern audience are too smart and pragmatic to indulge in expressions of love and affection. Cuddling, hugs and kisses should be outlawed as well. It’s obvious that Mother Nature doesn’t want us to love one another. That’s why we have to follow social distance protocol. Hate is much safer than that.”
Netflix uploads Pandemic
Netflix cares for us. As the world is struggling with COVID-19 amidst this uncertain time of disquiet, financial stress, lack of human touch and separation from loved ones, Netflix is doing its bit for the global community. Lest you find yourselves getting distracted from the pandemic, in the event you discover moments of relief, for fear that you may feel good for some time, Netflix is uploading movies related to pandemics and viruses to guide you to the path of a sensible, meaningful and realistic Dark Life.
Cinema Police
Inspired by the religious police of Saudi Arabia and Iran, rabid fans of serious cinema in India have set up Cinema Police. It will be an undercover cinema police, an official vice squad, to enforce people’s observance to serious cinema and strict compliance with critical acclaim. They will be on lookout for people with immoral viewing habits and deviant cinematic orientation. Anybody found guilty would be stoned, mob-lynched or dispatched to Guantanamo Bay.
The Internet is inundated with a viral video of a congregation of extroverts at an underground party during the time of lock-down. Media is blaming extroverts for COVID-19 potentially going out of control. While others are blaming the entire extrovert community for not condemning the reckless action of the culprits.
“Why aren’t extroverted film actors not speaking against the extrovert community? Is extroversion really a lifestyle of peace?” shouted a news anchor, in a sentiment echoed by several introverts.
A YouTube commenter and part-time Godman has held extroverts and travelling culture responsible for the very existence of the deadly virus: “COVID-19 is God’s revenge on us for extroversion and hyper globalisation. Life used to be simple ten years ago but this culture of extreme travelling has disrupted the nature. Now everybody wants to travel everywhere. The bloody globe-trotters should be quarantined for life. God’s message is obvious: keep social distance, stay indoors and give up travelling. It’s poetic justice.
“Travelling itself is the most clichéd hobby. Travelling zealots not spread viruses through unnecessary travelling but show-off their experiences on social media, often amplifying them, which puts pressure on their peers to do the same. They make common people feel bad about their lives.”
A Godman of Yuppies named Anurag Kashyap has blamed love for the pandemic: “Love is a useless and outdated concept. The viral outbreak is Mother Nature’s revenge for the romantic cinema of Imtiaz Ali and Aditya Chopra. Modern audience are too smart and pragmatic to indulge in expressions of love and affection. Cuddling, hugs and kisses should be outlawed as well. It’s obvious that Mother Nature doesn’t want us to love one another. That’s why we have to follow social distance protocol. Hate is much safer than that.”
Netflix uploads Pandemic
Netflix cares for us. As the world is struggling with COVID-19 amidst this uncertain time of disquiet, financial stress, lack of human touch and separation from loved ones, Netflix is doing its bit for the global community. Lest you find yourselves getting distracted from the pandemic, in the event you discover moments of relief, for fear that you may feel good for some time, Netflix is uploading movies related to pandemics and viruses to guide you to the path of a sensible, meaningful and realistic Dark Life.
Cinema Police
Inspired by the religious police of Saudi Arabia and Iran, rabid fans of serious cinema in India have set up Cinema Police. It will be an undercover cinema police, an official vice squad, to enforce people’s observance to serious cinema and strict compliance with critical acclaim. They will be on lookout for people with immoral viewing habits and deviant cinematic orientation. Anybody found guilty would be stoned, mob-lynched or dispatched to Guantanamo Bay.
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