Dawood Ibrahim is gone from India but he left his progeny behind in the form of All India Bakchod and TVF Pitchers. If he were born a few decades later, he could have easily been a part of India’s over-felicitated start-up breed. It would have been easy for him to legitimise his mafia business under the subterfuge of the start-up culture of Youtube yuppies. He would be invited to give leadership lectures to students in IITs, IIMs and other universities; he would appear on Indian version of Ted Talks to disperse his nuggets of gyan; on Quora.com he would be a lifestyle guru advising fellow yuppies on almost everything from parenting to quantum physics; he would be invited on Karan Johar’ Koffee With Karan and talk about his best kills and if Al Capone was hotter than Ted Bundy. All he would have to do is to start a Youtube channel like AIB and TVF, purport to be an admirer of highbrow cinema and American TV shows — thence he would become a darling of India’s yuppies. There isn’t much difference between Dawood Ibrahim and the likes of All India Bakchod, except that the latter are backed by politicians and intellectuals. Both use fear and intimidation to control others. Both are self-righteous and autocratic custodians of society. Both are loved by Fascists.
TVF Pitchers are a hipster version of Khap Panchayat. They decide what’s original and what’s not. When Aurag Kashyap gets inspired by Cat’s Eye, it’s called an inspiration but if others get inspired or even pay a homage, they are slandered as plagiarists. In one of their propaganda videos, they have asserted that Shankar-Jaikishen’s song from Janwar, “Deko ab to kisko nahi hai khabar” is copied from The Beatles song (“I want to hold your hand”). Obviously those malicious, boorish, autocratic bastards don’t a know a thing about history. The Beatles visited India in 1960 and were deeply inspired by the spirituality; they became friends with Shankar-Jaikishen and Shami Kapoor. In return Shankar-Jaikishen decided to pay a homage to them through that song. It was an obvious tribute. They four men playing guitars were clearly dressed as The Beatles, making no effort to hide the similarities. There is a demarcation between plagiarism and homage. (There have been several songs that were plagiarised by other Indian composers in the ‘80s and the ‘90s, but this was clearly not. Shankar-Jaikishen and other composers of that era were of a different league altogether. Heck, even The Beatles loved it but India’s cinema police won’t accept it.) They tell people what movies to watch and now they also police people’s taste in music. What’s next: will they tell people how many children they should have? (“Every Anurag Kashyap fan should have at least five children so we can take over” would be indoctrinated to their gullible disciples.)
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| An obvious tribute to The Beatles. But Dawood Ibrahim’s successors, TVF Pitchers, refuse to accept that. |
But obviously the likes of TVF Pitchers are averse to any reasoning or logic (unless it’s meant to flatter them). Why would they make such egregious assertions? They want control like mafia. They are the modern-day versions of rogues like Dawood Ibrahim. They consider themselves as the trend influencers, just like Shobhaa De, Karan Johar, AIB etc. This is the reason why AIB’s dictator Tanmay Bhat slandered Lata Mangeshkar in his propaganda video. They use fear and coercion to control everyone.
All Dawood Ibrahim has to do is to announce that he loves Breaking Bad. His image would change and he might even get a pardon from the brain-dead yuppies of Indian government.
