That Magical Moment

When chips are down, I often ponder when I will find my mojo or talisman or epiphany. It’s the sudden magical moment, the turning point of life from where things only get better. Like in Lage Raho Munna Bhai when Munna is in a quandary, his friend, Circuit, advises him to go to Gandhi’s memorial; there he finds his mojo when he comes face to face with the man himself. In Hera Pheri when the three friends are down with debts, they find their moment when they receive a phone call. Tom Cruise’s eponymous character has an epiphany in Jerry Maguire that changes his life.

In the past whenever I felt stuck and hopeless, I wished for that defining moment, the turning point of my life. Yesterday night I found that magical moment. It didn’t pop like an epiphany nor did it ring like an ethereal phone call. It had been right under my nose for months, yet I couldn’t realise that it was the unmistakable breakthrough I was looking for. Now it’s time to relax and to let the good times roll.

Orgasm of Connoisseurship

The time has come to declare Hollywood a cinematic deity.
 
Lo and behold! The time has come to declare Hollywood a cinematic deity. It is human nature to bash the present and deify the past. But Hollywood is an exception. There is no wistful sentiment for classics: the current era is unanimously viewed as the golden era of Hollywood. Every year Hollywood’s (over)-exuberant fans proudly beat the drum that the coming year would be another “good movie year”. It’s a blissful picture of fans totally submitted to the superiority of Hollywood’s present.

The crowd at the screening of The Dark Knight Rises is not just an ordinary throng of audience — it is a congregation of intellectuals gaping at the screen in awe. A film festival showing the likes of Man of Steel, Avengers, Iron Man, Transformers etc. is not just another film festival — it is an orgasm of connoisseurship. In the West, movies like Fast And Furious are sometimes dismissed as “just another blockbusters”, but in the East they are viewed with veneration. People in India wear Hollywood like a badge of honour. Nobody in India can criticise Hollywood without being ridiculed. Hollywood’s moral clout is so huge that even a guild like RSS never says a word against Hollywood. It’s another thing that underneath their tirades against the West, most of RSS activists enjoy watching Hollywood movies.

At times it seems Hollywood follows a regimented approach with a dedicated team of writers churning one screenplay after the other, meticulously planning for years ahead. If in the past, action films were met with reverence, now there are science-fiction, fantasy and kiddie-flick genres that generate oomph from the devout audience.

An Indian writer once wrote that modern Hollywood reminded him of the “grossly deprived childhood” he had to “endure” because his childhood was merely filled with friends, books and outdoor activities. As ridiculous as his self-deprecating confession may sound, it shows the veneration that Hollywood’s popular genres command from mature audience.

Things move fast in contemporary Hollywood. One critically acclaimed blockbuster comes and another follows quickly in the assembly line. A multitude of blockbusters have passed since the mighty Avengers conquered critics’ hearts merely three years ago. Hollywood keeps pumping one masterpiece after the other. At IMDB, contemporary Hollywood movies earn such hefty ratings from devout film buffs (or hired programmers) that anything below the rating of eight looks inadequate. 

However, Hollywood’s biggest breakthrough is the implementation of reboots. Earlier there was a perception that reboots had to be a few decades apart but The Amazing Spiderman opened new horizons of connoisseurship when a few honchos decided to reboot the Spiderman series only five years after Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman 3. Who would have thought that? The concept of reboots is an unlimited mine of connoisseurship. When in 2006 Superman Begins failed, they rebooted it again as the much celebrated Man Of Steel in 2013. Hollywood can keep rebooting popular franchises infinite times till the last few human beings walk on the earth. There is no reason why they shouldn’t reboot the feted Harry Potter saga with a new cast, vastly superior visual effects and so forth. For that matter, even James Bond series can have another reboot in future — when Daniel Craig decides to move on — featuring a younger Bond in his teens or twenties who traces the murder of his parents and comes face to face with the nemesis. The James Bond scenario is a hyperbole, though not by much, but there is no doubt that when it comes to sci-fi fantasies and kiddie flicks, Hollywood is on the pedestal of eternal glory.

Truth About Anurag Kashyap’s Fans

We have heard about Anurag Kashyap’s cult following by the coveted yuppie brigade of India. We have heard diatribes of his rabid fans (are there any other kind?) whenever his film fails to attract audience. If anything, his newest release Bombay Velvet has brought out the truth about his so-called fans. The dearth of viewers at the screens has proved that his fans are a bunch of phonies who only pretend to like his movies to look high status. Earlier the rabid animals masquerading as his fans got away in his low-budget films where profits or losses weren’t huge. However, in a film of this colossal stature they have nowhere to run. If they really liked his movies, would Bombay Velvet have had such abysmal box-office returns?

The biggest irony of his rabid fans is that they watch his movies on pirated DVDs or online torrents but they disparage Indian public and filmmakers when his movies don’t do well in cinemas. When Ugly went unnoticed, media assailed Indian movie-goers with snide comments; notwithstanding that the movie had released abruptly, with a disdainful sense of entitlement by Kashyap. They sarcastically pleaded him not to have sad endings in his movies since Indian public preferred  happy endings, as if Anurag Kashyap was a pioneer of sad endings in Hindi cinema. The hypocrites overlooked the blatant fact that sad endings were nothing new in Hindi cinema: movies like Dil Se, Rang De Basanti, Fanaa, Gangster, Ishaqzaade, Aashiqui 2, Ram-Leela and many others had sad endings and most of them were big hits. That specious claim itself busts the myth of Anurag Kashyap’s superiority. Why should Indians listen to the tirades of his sycophants? Is he in the Indian army? Has he found cure for cancer? Nobody owes him a living.

Despite being a good director and a brilliant dialogue writer, he is an overrated, overhyped product of smart Public Relations machinery. His fan-following is extremely limited to a few zealots and a bunch of propaganda Youtube channels that intimidate people to like his movies: rest of his fans constitute of people who just pretend to like his movies out of fear or snobbery. His sycophants make fun of blockbusters; they make sardonic videos on “how to make a hundred-crore film”, but Bombay Velvet has showed that making money is not that easy. It’s easy to resonate with a few hundred sycophants than with millions of people with divergent sensibilities. It’s easier to make so-called niche films like That Girl In Yellow Boots than so-called lowbrow comedies like Hera Pheri and Lage Raho Munnabhai. 

The rabid animals masquerading as Anurag Kashyap’s fans demean people who watch movies for entertainment and dub them unintelligent, yet they themselves pimp for IPL. If sports can be watched for entertainment, then why not movies? It’s difficult to find any benefits of following professional sports. Even Noam Chomsky calls it a waste of time. If they want to educate themselves then they should read a book. It’s another thing that most of his phony fans have never read a book in their lives. 

Anurag Kashyap is billed as an underdog by his PR machinery, yet he has a nexus with bigwigs like Karan Johar. He has propaganda Youtube channels at his disposal who not only venerate him but ridicule the movies of his rivals. He likes talking about hypocrisy of other people but he and his rabid fans are bigger hypocrites. He used to express contempt towards Karan Johar and ilk but now he has formed a powerful faction with him. Who is a hypocrite now, Mr. Kashyap? His so-called fans intimidate those who like mainstream films; they bully those who criticise him; they let loose tirades on audience when his movies open to dismal attendance. It is fear that makes people feign admiration for his movies. Intimidation can get you false admiration but it cannot make people buy tickets for your movies. Those who dig pits for others fall into them.

RGV — The Tiger Hunted By A Pack Of Rabid Dogs

Why do Indians love Gangs Of Wasseypur and ignore Rakht Charitra? Why is Anurag Kashyap deified and Ram Gopal Varma ostracised?

Indian audience have the tendency to play chamchas (sycophants) to a given filmmaker at a time. Ram Gopal Varma was once media’s darling, until he botched up the remake of Sholay. It was a mighty botchery. It was a big choke. That one mistake butchered his reputation.

He is still a respectable filmmaker, an important filmmaker whose name has been safely etched on the memorial wall of intelligentsia, but only for his past work, mainly Satya and Company. There is a premeditated rejection manufactured by power brokers for everything he does now. They claim that he has lost his creative instinct, and consequently, public has lost confidence in him. In the hindsight, now it seems that he has lost confidence because of his butchered reputation.

There is no doubt that his recent films have suffered with obsessively dull lighting and utterly generic, cacophonous background score, alarmingly channelling the background music of Indian soaps. After the fiasco of Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag, he has made desperate attempts to get his grip back on the box-office. He tried outright lowbrow horror with Phoonk and Aggyat. He made a hideously lurid crime film in Not A Love Story, only to be overlooked. Had Anurag Kashyap made the same film, it would have acquired a cult status for its realism and perverse climax. Then he made an ostensible sequel of the iconic Satya to cash in on its brand name. Satya 2 wasn’t a bad film per se, but nobody cared about it. It is safe to say that most of his weak films after the weak-minded Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag have sprung out of desperation to regain public’s confidence. However, he has also made good films after after that. Sarkar Raj was a fine film, afflicted by the pernicious side-effects of Aag. Contract was well-made film, but it was pelted with brickbats, hence, audience shunned it. Rann was a decent film chastised by propaganda connoisseurs. Rakht Charitra saga had all the ingredients that higbrow crowd loves: it had melancholy, austerity, sad ending, no lip-syncing songs and no melodrama. But media remained low-key about it. It was Rakht Charitra that set the framework for Anurag Kashyap’s highly feted Gangs Of Wassseypur saga, yet both films drew opposite reactions.

Karan Johar calls him a “mad man” with pomp. If he used that epithet on any other respectable director, his house would be stoned by moral police.

Anurag Kashyap had minced no words about his hatred towards Karan Johar and his brand of cinema. Now, years later, he has a nexus with Karan Johar, percolating through power brokers, corporations and media. Now he stands head-to-head with him as the most powerful man in Hindi cinema. He also had acrimony with Taran Adarsh, which was evident when the latter irrationally panned his earlier films and the former riposted that a person like Taran Adarsh didn’t have the acumen to understand his films. Gradually Anurag Kashyap realised that making a good film wasn’t enough to get accolades. He had to shake hands with the Devils. (Wherein the euphemism “handshake” came about in That Girl In Yellow Boots.) He had to join the social circuits of the moral police. He had to puff on the chillum with the animales. Since then Taran Adarsh has given hefty ratings to his films, even That Girl In Yellow Boots, which is far-flung from his predilections.

Anurag Kashyap has become a cult of connoisseurship. The elitists venerate him. Critics spill their blood for him. But five years ago, the same people ridiculed him, calling him “the self-proclaimed torch-bearer of Indian cinema”. It is ironic that now they call him a maverick filmmaker, since they marauded him when he attempted David Lynch-like surrealism, intellectually challenging abstruse art in the brilliantly-made No Smoking. He is far gifted, far more versatile director than people accept him for. In many ways, they now make him work with his hands tied. The elite audience, the self-proclaimed representatives of good cinema, have a blinkered outlook of quality. Either they like masala films or austere cinema. Anything that diverts from their parochial outlook, is declared unintelligent. Anurag Kashyap understands that handicap and now he plays accordingly to their needs. He’s still brilliant but capable of a lot more.

If a Ram Gopal Varma’s film fails at box-office, it’s considered his own fault. But when an Anurag Kashyap’s film flops, the film industry and the audience get the rap for it. Take for example, the poor box-office returns of Ugly have led to diatribes from the moral police. However, the Cabal is flagrantly ignoring the fact that Ugly was released abruptly without any publicity. If fans don’t know that an Anurag Kashyap’s film is releasing, how would they see it? Gangs Of Wasseypur filled the coffers of exhibitors because it was released with proper planning. Even Aamir Khan would struggle to find audience if he released his film abruptly. The reason they overlook the simple reasons is, because it defeats their propaganda. Deep inside, these elitists wanted Ugly to underperform at box-office so they could sell hate and propaganda.

So, why is it that they have deified Anurag Kashyap but ostracised Ram Gopal Varma? The reason is, everybody worships the rising sun. They claim to love Anurag Kashyap, but they are opportunists, riding on his coattails to manipulate public. They are like those propaganda activists of ‘Khap Panchayat’ and ‘Bajrang Dal’ — the self-appointed protectors of society. Anurag Kashyap is not their favourite director. He is an image to boost their social status; he is an opportunity for braggadocio; he is their trophy wife.